Are They Really Settling, or Is This Another Stall Tactic?


By DivorcePlus Staff Editor July 17, 2024

Key Points

Understanding Stalling: Learn what stalling means in court and how it can delay the divorce process.

Advantages of Settling: Discover why settling can save you time, money, and emotional energy compared to going to trial.

Making Informed Decisions: Get answers to common questions and make informed decisions about the best path forward for your unique situation.

Going through a divorce can feel never-ending. One moment, it seems like everything is moving in the right direction, and the next, you’re stuck, wondering if it will ever end. This back-and-forth can be incredibly frustrating, especially when you’re trying to figure out if your ex is genuinely ready to settle or just stalling for time. In this blog, we’ll break down what settling and stalling mean in court, why people choose to settle, and whether it’s better to settle or go to trial. Plus, we’ll talk about the round-the-clock services available to support you during this tough time.

What is a Stall Tactic?

In court, a stall tactic is when one party delays the legal process. This could be for various reasons, like hoping the other party will get tired and give up, or trying to drain you financially.  For example, your ex may request to push court dates back or say that they cannot locate documents that you need to finalize your property settlement.  Unfortunately, this can drag out the divorce process, making it even more stressful and uncertain.

When a party stalls the divorce process, it creates an atmosphere of distrust and tension.  Not only are you left in limbo but you may find yourself stressed about finances and unable to move forward emotionally.  So we have to ask, “Is he really trying to settle the case, or is he just stalling for more time?”   To understand this, we need to examine how the settlement process really works.

How to Tell If They Are Stalling

Figuring out if your ex is genuinely working towards a settlement or just stalling can be tricky. Here are some signs that might indicate they are stalling the process:

1. Repeated Delays and Postponements

If your ex constantly requests to reschedule meetings or court dates, it might be a tactic to delay the proceedings. While occasional rescheduling is normal, a pattern of frequent delays can be a red flag.

2. Slow Responses to Requests

When you or your lawyer send requests for information or documents, a delayed or sluggish response can indicate stalling. If your ex takes an unusually long time to provide necessary information, it could be an attempt to drag out the process.

3. Excessive Demands for Information

While it’s important for both parties to have all the necessary information, an excessive number of requests can be a stalling tactic. If your ex is repeatedly asking for the same documents or making unreasonable demands for information, it might be a way to delay moving forward.

4. Unwillingness to Compromise

Settlement requires both parties to be willing to make compromises. If your ex is consistently inflexible and unwilling to negotiate, it might be a sign they are not genuinely interested in reaching a settlement.

5. Frequent Changes in Legal Representation

Switching lawyers multiple times during the process can be another stalling tactic. Each new lawyer will need time to get up to speed on the case, which can delay progress.

6. Focus on Minor Issues

If your ex seems overly concerned with minor details rather than the major issues at hand, it might be a way to stall. By focusing on less important matters, they can delay addressing the bigger, more critical issues.

7. Lack of Preparation

Arriving unprepared to meetings or court dates is another sign of stalling. If your ex consistently shows up without necessary documents or seems unprepared to discuss important topics, it could be a deliberate attempt to delay the process.

What to Do If You Suspect Stalling

If you think your ex is stalling, it’s important to talk to your lawyer. They can help identify stalling tactics and take steps to keep the process moving forward. This might include filing motions to compel responses or asking the court to set firm deadlines.

Remember, having access to 24-hour lawyer services and online divorce coaching can provide you with the support and guidance you need to handle these challenges effectively.

What Does Settling in Court Mean?

Getting past stall tactics, meaningful settlement discussions can occur.  But exactly does settling mean?

Settling in court means both parties agree on the terms of their divorce without having to go to trial. This can include decisions about property division, child custody, and support payments. When you settle, you’re coming to a mutual agreement, which can save time, money, and emotional energy.

Why Do People Settle Instead of Going to Court?

People often choose to settle instead of going to court because it’s usually faster, less expensive, and less stressful. Here are some reasons why settling is a popular choice:

  1. Cost-Effective: Trials can be very expensive, with legal fees adding up quickly. Settling can save both parties a lot of money.
  2. Time-Saving: Trials can take months or even years to conclude. Settling can resolve issues much faster.
  3. Emotional Relief: Divorce trials can be emotionally draining. Settling can reduce stress and help both parties move on more quickly.

Is a Settlement Better Than Going to Trial?

In many cases, settling is better than going to trial. It allows both parties to have more control over the outcome and can be less adversarial.  This means that both parties have input into the outcome of the case.  There is little control over how a judge will determine parts of your case, but with a settlement, everyone comes to an agreement together.  

However, there are situations where going to trial might be necessary, such as when there is a significant disagreement over critical issues like child custody.

At What Point Do Most Cases Settle?

Most divorce cases settle before going to trial. This can happen at any stage of the process, but it often occurs after both parties have had a chance to exchange enough information to understand the strengths and weaknesses of their cases.  Mediation and negotiation are common times for settlements to occur.

Although lawyers will attempt to settle cases outside of the courthouse, there are those that don’t reach a settlement until the last minute.  These “hallway settlements” are common when one or both of the parties believe the other is trying to gain an advantage over the other, or that they can get a better ruling from the court than they can get in the settlement process.  Generally, all courts will require lawyers and the parties to meet immediately before trial begins to discuss potential settlement options. With the stress of trial looming, more flexible settlement negotiations may occur. 

What is Considered Settling?

The legal term for settling is a “settlement agreement” or “divorce settlement.” This is a legally binding document that outlines the agreed-upon terms of the divorce.

This occurs  when both parties come to an agreement on the terms of their divorce. This agreement is usually put in writing and approved by the court. It covers all the essential aspects of the divorce, such as asset division, child custody, and support.

Why Do Lawyers Prefer to Settle?

Lawyers often prefer to settle because it can be more predictable and less risky than going to trial. Settling allows lawyers to negotiate terms that their clients can agree on, rather than leaving the decision up to a judge. It also helps to keep legal costs down and can result in a quicker resolution.

What are the Disadvantages of Settling a Case?

While settling has many advantages, there are some potential drawbacks:

Potentially Unfair Outcomes: If one party has more bargaining power, they may push for terms that are less favorable to the other party.  More often than not, this is demonstrated when one party has more financial assets than the other. Remember when looking at finances to talk to a professional like a certified divorce financial analyst like Jamie Lima who understands what you may or may not be entitled to.

Less Satisfaction: Some people may feel they compromised too much and are not completely satisfied with the outcome.  Caution yourself against withholding a settlement negotiations for a higher level of satisfaction at trial.  This gamble may or may not bring you the closure or emotional satisfaction you are looking for.  Not only that, it may harm you more in the long run with a protentional adverse ruling and drain on financial resources.  Consider talking with a divorce coach to make sure that you are withholding settlement for right reasons.

No Public Record: For some, the lack of a public record of wrongdoing (like in cases of abuse) can feel like a disadvantage.

Is It Better to Settle or Litigate?

Whether it’s better to settle or litigate depends on the specifics of your case. Settling is generally faster, cheaper, and less stressful. However, if there are significant disputes that cannot be resolved through negotiation, litigation might be necessary. It’s essential to weigh the pros and cons and consider what’s best for your situation.

Conclusion

Divorce can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience, but understanding the difference between settling and stalling can help you make informed decisions. Settling your divorce can often be the better choice, saving you time, money, and emotional energy compared to going to trial. However, recognizing stalling tactics and knowing how to respond is crucial to keeping the process moving forward.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Utilizing 24-hour divorce services , online life coaching , and online divorce coaching can provide you with the round-the-clock support you need during this challenging time. These resources offer valuable insights and expert guidance, ensuring you feel confident and prepared every step of the way.

Allison Cherry Divorce Coach

Allison Cherry is a mediator, and Certified Life and Divorce Coach offering personalized coaching programs. She works to assist people with minimizing the negative emotions associated with separation and divorce as well as work to decrease the exorbitant amounts of money they would spend in court.

Talk to a coach today


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